


We are Doomed but Wanted More

by locketofyourhair



Series: I'll Keep You Warm at Night [2]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Demon!Shane, M/M, Succubi & Incubi, discussions of noncon/rape, implied andrew/steven - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 14:02:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19792387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/locketofyourhair/pseuds/locketofyourhair
Summary: So Shane is an incubus.Ryan's pretty sure he's an idiot for not figuring it out sooner, but then "sex demons" was never high on his list of possibilities.





	We are Doomed but Wanted More

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning** : Contains implications that some sex demons could use their powers for noncon feeding. Does not happen in fic because Shane Madej would never. 
> 
> Beta by riversburn. 
> 
> Title from "Blow Away" by Alison Sudol. This fic has been done for literal months, and I just never posted it, so please ignore that people who did not survive the Buzzfeed Job Apocalypse are mentioned.

The thing, when all is said and done, Ryan can’t look at Shane now and figure out how he ever thought the big guy was a human. He’s actually horrible at hiding it. Like Cleveland Browns levels of terrible. 

Like there are moments in the office where they’re all hanging out, getting coffee or maybe spitballing ideas before they take them to a supervisor, and Shane just sort of goes blank, like he’s a goddamned robot in shutdown mode. It’s always happened, and Ryan used to assume it was Shane just being Shane and obviously weird. 

It happens around Andrew all the time, particularly when Steven is in town but even when he’s not. Jen makes it happen, and once - memorably - Curly. He’ll go full shut down for minutes and then blink or shake his head. Sometimes he gets up and wanders off. If Sara is there, she makes a face. 

Except now Andrew accidentally brushes Shane when he’s telling a story about Steven, and Shane practically bolts. 

No one comments, really. Because Shane has always been one of those weird guys. He looks like he’s just had a flash of inspiration, but when he passes Ryan, Ryan notices the faintest sheen of Shane’s power and that his eyes are luminous brown behind his glasses. 

It happens when they go to a bar after work, too. That’s when Ryan realizes that there’s just a lot more in the world than he was prepared to deal with. 

It’s so late, considering the group of them have work in the morning, but Ryan is tipsy and pestering Shane with questions - which is totally his new favorite thing to do when they’re in places where no one will overhear - and a couple are clearly meaning to get out of there. It’s fine until the blonde brushes up against Shane and then he’s like a damned nightlight in the moody dive bar lighting. 

His skin picks up that glow that makes Ryan’s skin go hot all over with memories and his pupils are drowned out, and for a split second Ryan can see the panic in Shane’s face before Sara just appears and throws an arm around Shane’s waist. 

“Hey, junebug,” she says, and then Shane is just Shane again. Ryan thinks he sees a flare of something in Sara’s eyes, but he can’t be sure. 

What he is sure of is that Shane drapes one noodle arm over Sara’s shoulder and grins. “Thanks,” he murmurs. 

Ryan looks between them and Sara’s mouth drops open a little. “He told you,” she crows, and her hand curls around Ryan’s free one. It’s cooler than it has any right to be and then he’s standing with Shane and Sara and it feels like the world has held its breath. 

Shane is glowing and dark-eyed, and Sara is... different. Her face is more oval-shaped, eyes a shining sea of colors that swirl too fast for Ryan to name. Her hair looks like it’s pulsing, like there are thunderclouds and lightning under her skin. 

It’s a lot, and Ryan can’t pull away from them, from how much they don’t look like themselves but do. 

“I didn’t tell him,” Shane says, and his tone is dry, because he knows what Ryan looks like when he’s overwhelmed. “There was an emergency.”

Sara cackles now, and again, Ryan can hear thunder, feel the static press of a storm. She only looks a little abashed, mostly pleased, like she’s enjoying what this is doing a little too much. 

“An emergency,” she repeats and she makes a kissy face. Shane doesn’t seem offended, just exasperated. 

“Sara is part-faerie,” Shane says after a minute,and he raises his voice, mocking, so Ryan knows the spelling he’s inferring. “And someone in her family was an Anemoi. So she’s a little scary sometimes, but she does the best glamor in LA. No one can even hear us.”

He’s blasé about it, like this is just another day. 

Of course - and this keeps occurring to Ryan - it is a regular day for Shane. Shane has always lived in a world where _faeries are real_.

“Fuck you, too,” he says to Sara, because she’s given him just as much shit about ghosts as Shane has, just off camera. “Is Garrett in on this shit? Andrew, too?”

She laughs, shaking her head but not answering, but then her smile fades as she turns back to Shane. “What’s up? You’re not usually...” She makes a motion to Shane’s entire body, where he’s dark-eyed and beautiful, and Ryan can’t stop staring. 

“I think...” Shane licks his lips, looking at the floor. “I’ve been having less control around humans. They’re very...loud.”

Ryan furrows his brows and looks at Sara, and she looks just as lost as he feels. “Loud how?”

Shane takes a long sip of his drink and sighs. “Every random sexual fantasy they’ve had recently? Up here.” He taps his temple. 

“You can see that shit?” Ryan feels exposed, ashamed, and embarrassed all at once, because honestly, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Shane since they came back from Nebraska. Even now, when he knows Shane can see it, the image of Shane’s mouth around his dick is just there. 

Shane laughs,his eyes twinkling with mischief. It’s strange how normal they look like that, as if he’s always looked at Shane with his weird demon features. “You’re not the issue, Ry. You don’t project as loud because you’re not...frustrated, I think.”

Sara’s mouth drops open, eyes wide. “How much of an emergency are we talking, Shane?”

Ryan blinks, and, yeah, okay, Sara and Shane have been as close as Shane and Ryan and the fact that Sara is just as supernatural as Shane is apparently... “The kind you’ve helped with?” Ryan doesn’t want to assume, but he’s pretty sure the math checks out. 

Shane _did_ say he doesn’t feed on humans. 

“Oh ho _ho_ , Madej. I see how it is.” She thumps Ryan on the shoulder, and her grin looks positively wicked. 

“Anyway,” Shane says, and his skin is normal again, the regular paleness with no glow behind him. It looks like he’s shutting himself down, like he’s suddenly being very Midwestern about this. “I’ll get a handle on it. If everyone would just get laid more often it would help.”

Ryan makes a face. “So like, you can see...everything? In their fantasies?”

Shane rubs his eyes under his glasses. “Some of us can literally change shape, and... say I could do that and I wanted to feed from Andrew? I know exactly what would get him going on down to bonetown. Hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically?” Ryan really, really does and doesn’t want to know. It’s like when you find a mystery takeout box in your fridge. You know if you open it, it’s going to smell like ass, but you _also_ want to know. 

Shane purses his lips and sets his drink aside. “In practice, it’s horrifying and probably relies on a lot of hormone-whammy. I know Andrew. Even if I could, I wouldn’t.”

Sara looks normal again too, and only the strange distortion around them lets Ryan know they’re still under her glamor. “Some sex demons are rapists,” she says with distaste. “They’d take advantage of that boy’s love and ride him until he dropped.”

“Imagine if you were into anguish, man,” Shane says, lip curling. “Fear and melancholy. It would probably be a delicious melange.”

Something goes feral in Sarah’s smile. “Or if you were into that and didn’t have a conscience.”

Ryan has a feeling he’s tripping on the edge of something bigger, but before he can ask, Shane takes out his wallet and puts some cash on the bar. He suddenly looks exhausted. “I think I’m heading out. I can’t be trusted here tonight.” Shane grins. “I’ll talk to you guys Monday.”

And then he does that thing that Ryan didn’t actually know was a supernatural power. He leans into the shadow of the bar, where the light is dimmest and he’s just _gone_. Like even as he’s done it, Ryan can feel his mind rejecting the idea, that Shane had to have gone to the door and he just missed it. 

Except he knows that it isn’t true. 

Sara chucks him under the chin. “Careful, Bergara.” Her eyes are warm, kind even, but he feels like she’s staring into him and he’s not sure he likes what she sees.

* * *

“So how many people here are like you and Sara?” Ryan asks on Monday, when they’re at their desks. Ryan is sending notes back and forth with the research team for the next episode and Shane is deep into editing in background vocals for _Ruining History_.

Shane raises an eyebrow, midway to taking a sip of tea. “You know I can’t tell you that,” he says, and he keeps his eyes trained on Ryan in a way that clearly telegraphs that they have other supernatural coworkers. 

Ryan shrugs. “Maybe I’m trying to figure out your menu, compare notes.”

That makes Shane laugh, and he sets his mug aside. “I don’t think they’d be able to give you notes. It was...different.” He glances around, and the back of his neck is slowly turning pink, the flush creeping up to his ears. 

It’s kind of fascinating that Shane can be flustered about this, after everything they talked about at the hotel, after what they did. Jesus, Ryan is still jerking off on just the feeling of Shane’s power, how he could feel it draining him but warming him at the same time. 

“Different?”

Shane looks around, and no one is paying attention. He still shifts in his seat like someone might step into this conversation and shout _excuse me, sex demons what?_ , but Shane sighs and sets his glasses down beside his mouse. 

“I think...it’s like, when we did the soylent video. Technically, when I’m with them, I am feeding. I’m getting exactly what I need to keep me up and running.” Shane’s flush is spreading down to his neck now, and it’s ridiculous how into that Ryan is. “Humans are just more, I guess. I mean, I don’t... It’s been a lot, feeding off one.”

Shane licks his lips, and Ryan can’t look away. He strangles out, “Off me, you mean?”

The air is charged in a way that has Ryan half-hard at his desk, like that’s at all appropriate, but he doesn’t care because he’s watching Shane’s hands, long fingers flexing as he almost-but-not-quite reaches across for Ryan. 

“I think—I’m having trouble from _you_ ,” Shane whispers, and he’s not shining or glowing or anything, he looks as normal as you please, but this has to be Shane. Shane’s voice feels like sin as he speaks, and Ryan is only just able to keep himself from reaching out and touching Shane because he knows that. 

Ryan can admit that he has a sex voice, and it’s the voice he uses when he replies, “Like right now?” He probably shouldn’t find that wrecking Shane apparently wrecked Shane’s powers, but he’s only human. 

Which is apparently the problem. 

Shane bites down hard on his lip and shifts in his seat. “I have more energy than I need and it’s making me able to do more.” One of Shane’s hands curls into a fist on his thigh. It makes Ryan look at Shane’s dick. 

And he’s half-hard, but Shane’s clearly a lost cause. 

Ryan is torn between having a billion new questions and jumping Shane right there at their desks, but then Steven comes up and sits on the edge of Ryan’s desk, and Shane scurries away. 

Steven doesn’t even seem to realize. 

And, honestly, Steven talks to Ryan and Ryan doesn’t hear a word. It’s like the ocean, because Ryan wants to follow Shane into the men’s room. He doesn’t care that it’s the perfect way to announce to the entire floor that, yeah, the ghoul boys are fucking. 

Even when he knows Shane’s power has stopped, when the hazy heat of _need_ is gone, he can’t concentrate on anything but Shane. He stares at his monitor, at the script he’s supposed to have done today to send off, but he feels like he’s under a fog. 

Shane doesn’t come back the rest of the day, calls off the day after, and when he comes back in in Thursday, he’s stopped leaking power everywhere. 

And that’s apparently that.

* * *

Except it isn’t. 

Because now he knows what Shane looks like when he’s really, truly hungry. He knows what the waxen gleam of Shane’s skin, the way his eyes go from sad and soft to exhausted. There’s a bluish tinge to his lips, just enough that Ryan can see it, and it’s startling as it grows darker. 

Ryan’s never seen (color) photos of an asphyxiation victim, but it frightens him how much Shane starts to look like one as he gets hungry, like the oxygen is being forced out of Shane. 

(He realizes that Shane doesn’t try to hide this from him anymore, because no one else notices. He’s finding that a lot, that people aren’t hiding as much. Rie winks at him when he startles at realizing that Rie never touches cast iron, despite working in Tasty. One of the interns sets a stick at Ryan’s desk, his smile sharp in a way that doesn’t look human, and the next morning he finds a tiny recreation of the liberty bell by his mousepad. Shane tells him to leave it there, and Ryan doesn’t see the intern again.)

He starts to notice the changes a week after Shane almost lost control in the office, and he’s a little proud of himself that he lets it go on Wednesday and then on Thursday. It’s only on Friday when he kicks Shane’s foot under the desk and asks, “You want to go out for lunch?”

Shane blinks, and he’s so distracted, dull-eyed, that Ryan wants to ask right then. Why hasn’t Shane fed? Sara is at work every day; text messaging does exist. Ryan ignores the way his stomach seizes up at the thought of Shane going to someone else - seriously, they fucked once and Ryan can’t even pretend that they talked about being exclusive - and focuses. 

Shane needs to feed, and he’s not. And maybe there’s a better time to bring it up when they’re sitting in Ryan’s car, but at least they aren’t in the office anymore. 

“So feeding. When are you handling that, big guy?” He starts the car but doesn’t take it out of park.

Shane blinks at him, and Ryan can see him trying to shut down, carefully putting the effort to look “normal,” jovial and laid-back and nothing like a starving demon. 

Sometimes Ryan wonders how this became his life; how he’s suddenly worried about a _demon_ and totally down with volunteering himself as a meal. Father Thomas would be so upset with him right now, but at the same time, Shane means so much more to him than Father Thomas ever could. 

Ryan isn’t going to unpack that. 

“It’s not a big deal yet,” Shane says slowly. “I’ve waited longer.”

“But you shouldn’t, man.” Ryan sighs and slumps down in his chair. “I mean, you know Sara or I will do it.”

“Yes, obligation, the best aphrodisiac.” The words are derisive, but Shane stays placid. “Seriously, Ry. I’m still good.”

Ryan makes a face and licks his lips. “Maybe I want you to be better than good,” he says, and he looks Shane straight in the eyes because it’s easier to admit that than to admit that he’s still thinking about it, two weeks later. 

He wants to touch Shane again, to watch his skin start to glow and his eyes bleed brown. It felt amazing to have Shane’s power over him, even better than the healing had. Except he doesn’t know how to say that without sounding like a junkie who needs a fix. Like the power has been great, but it was also Shane at the same time. 

And that’s what makes it even better. 

Shane sighs and rubs at his eyes. “Are you sure that you didn’t have... Sara usually has migraines, and there are some other—they don’t do well.” 

“I slept pretty soundly, after. Almost six hours.” Ryan grins, because that was a pretty good run, even for him. “No nightmares. If our alarms hadn’t gone off, I probably would have slept longer. A little extra sleep as a trade off for, like, literally mind-blowing sex?”

Shane is quiet, quiet so long that Ryan has to resist the urge to tap on his gas pedal or mess with his phone, some noise to fill the car. He makes himself listen to Shane breathe, to the sounds of their clothes rubbing against the seats of his car. 

Finally Shane sighs and slides down in his seat, so his impossibly long legs are folded tight against the dash. “Okay,” he says, though he’s frowning pretty hard. “If you’re sure.”

Ryan wriggles his eyebrows. “You know it, big guy. Wouldn’t offer otherwise.”

Shane grins then, wry. “Father Thomas would be so disappointed.” He slaps his hands down on his legs then, like it’s only now that he’s uncomfortable after curling himself up into a tight ball. “But that’s tonight. Now, burritos.”

Ryan is flushed, because he’s not a sex demon and this stuff is a little embarrassing. Planning sex always feels weird, even when he was in a relationship and there were plans to stay over his partner’s place or they stayed at his. Like they knew what would go down, but the plan wasn’t like _Hey, swinging by at 8 for a dicking_.

Or, well, Ryan’s really only dated women seriously, but after college he did have a thing with another guy in his frat. They didn’t talk about that either, but if they were hanging out for pizza or video games, it was strictly a pants optional sort of thing. 

Not that he’s dating Shane. This is just about helping a friend out, a friend who can give him mind-melting orgasms.

* * *

Later, after work and Shane insisting on springing for dinner (a pizza that Shane barely touches and beer that can wait in the fridge until they’re done), Shane lays Ryan out, takes his time sucking marks down the length of Ryan’s body. It’s way more intimate in Ryan’s own room than it had been in a bland hotel room, knowing that he’s going to have to see these sheets again.

Shane starts to glow before he even has his mouth at Ryan’s dick, laughing faintly to himself as if even he can’t believe it. “Jesus, you’re already a lot,” he whispers, one hand stroking the inside of Ryan’s thigh. 

“Hey, you already knew that,” Ryan says, voice quiet. He pushes up on his elbows to see Shane stretched out on his bed. 

Shane’s eyes don’t sparkle when his power is on, so it’s hard to read him, but Ryan knows what the crinkling at the corners means, the half-quirk of his lips. “Yeah, I did,” he agrees and then swallows Ryan down. 

Ryan watches, because he’s had the memory of Shane blowing him at the hotel playing nearly as a repeat, but this time is different, less frantic. Shane’s power is brushing under his skin, but his mouth is slow this time, gentle at the head like Ryan has to be convinced, like Ryan didn’t basically corner him and demand that they do this. 

He tries to keep his eyes open, to watch the way Shane sinks down the length of Ryan’s dick with his mouth shining red. Shane’s long fingers brush over Ryan’s balls, just a hint of teasing pressure before they’re tapping over Ryan’s rim. Ryan’s seen Shane’s cock, and he knows it’s a lot but somewhere between Shane’s throat closing around him and the idea of Shane fucking him, he’s lost. 

He barely has time to murmur, “Oh, shit, I’m—“ before Shane is swallow and taking it. 

A string of spit connects Shane’s mouth to Ryan’s dick when it’s over, and he’s flushed behind that glow. “You look like porn,” Ryan mutters, as if it will make it less hot. 

Shane laughs, though, really laughs in a way that dims his power for just a moment, until there’s a waver in the light and Ryan thinks he’s losing his mind. 

For just a moment, it looks like Shane is less...male, the stubble on his cheeks vanishing and his chest looking like two small boobs. It’s gone before Ryan can really assess, back to Shane and his male chest and eighteen mile limbs and dick that really sells the whole “sex demon” angle. 

“That’s what I’d look like if I were porn, Ry,” Shane says, and there’s a sleepiness around his eyes, the sclera reappearing. 

Ryan reaches for Shane’s cock, because he believes in mutually beneficial orgasms and because holy _shit_. “What else can you do? How much can you shift?” 

Shane didn’t tell him, and Ryan’s not squeamish about rimming, would spread Shane open right now if he asked, but he also really loves eating out women. He’s been in a long term relationship where she was on the pill and licking his own come out of her body is one of those memories that still makes his dick twitch, even if he’s just come. 

“I can’t hold it that long,” Shane says wryly, and he wraps his hand around Ryan’s arm, holding on as Ryan crowds close. “Not really one of my talents, though it’s easier than trying to look like someone else.”

Shane shudders when Ryan sucks a mark on the underside of his jaw. “Maybe it’s something you could practice,” he whispers, closing his eyes so he doesn’t have to see Shane’s face. Dirty talk is better when he can’t see the other person. “Because I’d love to eat you out after I’ve fucked you.”

There’s no better answer than Shane coming over his fist as he murmurs, “Uh, yeah, we could try that,” he gasps, when he can speak. 

Neither of them move, no matter how gross they are, and Ryan keeps stroking Shane’s back, his arms. He wants to keep touching. He tells himself that it’s part of letting Shane feed, but he’s also pretty sure that he’s lying to himself.

The way his chest feels right and hollow at the same time probably isn’t sex demon powers. 

Particularly when Shane pulls back a little and studies Ryan’s face. “If that’s something...” He trails off, looking to the side for a moment, and there’s a faint flush over his features. “I don’t think I can hold it and feed at the same time.”

Ryan kisses Shane, because it feels right. It makes the feeling in his chest worse, but it’s worth it. “It doesn’t always have to be about dinner, man. Sometimes it could just be fun.”

Shane gives him a look that seems to look right through him, like he _knows_. “Then I guess I better start practicing.” His smile is small but happy, and the feeling in Ryan’s chest explodes.


End file.
